Having a Baby at 32 and Husband Is 22
In Your 20s
When Siobhan Bennett was pregnant with her 2 daughters during her mid 20s, she had an easy fourth dimension of it, and she figured things would exist the same when she was expecting her son at age 45. "No 1 saturday me downwards to say, 'Look, your torso's twenty years older now,'" says Bennett of Allentown, Pennsylvania. "I was far more fatigued this last time around -- the difference was night and twenty-four hours."
When you decide to have a baby is largely a function of where yous are in life. Did you detect a partner early or belatedly? Are you planning a big family unit or a small ane? Each age makes for a unlike experience. Although every adult female is unique, the physical and emotional aspects of pregnancy are at least partly influenced by how erstwhile yous are. Hither'due south what you tin can expect.
- Is There a Perfect Age to Have a Infant?
In Your 20s: Primed for Pregnancy
From a purely concrete standpoint, this is the prime fourth dimension for getting pregnant -- and the before you are in your 20s, the faster you may conceive. The irregular cycles mutual in your teenage years have evened out, so ovulation is more predictable. Plus, your eggs (you're built-in with all yous'll have) are fresh and good for you, making them proficient candidates for fertilization, says Geeta K. Swamy, Medico, an ob-gyn at Duke University Medical Eye.
Non only is it easiest to get pregnant in your 20s, it's as well easier to be meaning. "Usually, a younger body can best handle the boosted load on the bones, back, and muscles during pregnancy," says Cosmas J.Chiliad. van de Ven, MD, who specializes in high-risk obstetrics at the Academy of Michigan Medical School in Ann Arbor. Your joints accept been subjected to minimal wear and tear, and you're likely in the tiptop condition of your developed life, possibly years away from medical bug that may arise with increasing age.
And if yous're young, chances are your own parents are, likewise -- meaning more easily-on help for you and more than fun times for your children. "Not only can younger grandparents help with childcare, simply it's wonderful when, in years alee, they're still able to nourish school functions or even go along on field trips," says Diane G. Sanford, PhD, coauthor of the Postpartum Survival Guide (New Harbinger).
The risk of pregnancy-related complications is generally low in your 20s, with a notable exception: preeclampsia, or pregnancy-induced hypertension. Preeclampsia is less related to age, even so, than the fact that this status usually occurs with a offset pregnancy -- and near expectant women in their 20s are first-time moms, says Robert H. Berry, Dr., an ob-gyn at UMass Memorial Medical Middle in Worcester. You lot may also run a greater risk of a low birth weight baby if you've continued bad health habits from your teen years, such as smoking, poor nutrition, and risky sex that leads to sexually transmitted diseases.
While the physical factors of pregnancy generally favor a 20-something, that doesn't necessarily mean this is the decade to have a infant -- particularly if you're feeling your manner into a career or a marriage. "You may not have had enough time to fulfill your own needs, such as professional success or spending fourth dimension solitary with your partner," says Paula Ford-Martin, author of The Everything Pregnancy Volume (Adams Media).
What you lack in life experience, all the same, you may make upward for in enthusiasm about impending motherhood. "A adult female in her 20s may not spend and so much fourth dimension overthinking the pregnancy," says Sanford. "She may exist more upbeat and less anxious about having a baby, taking the classes, and becoming a mom." And only a few years may make a large departure in your emotional preparedness. "In that location was no way I felt mature enough to have a babe at 21, even though I knew I wanted a family," says Heather Toto, who recently became a first-time mom at 28. "But by this time, I've been working for a few years -- I'g a middle-schoolhouse instructor -- and my husband and I are more financially secure. Now the time is right."
In Your 30s: Gaining Maturity vs. Waning Fertility
Many women who've rounded the curve of xxx may feel they've made great strides professionally and personally, making them more emotionally prepared for pregnancy. "For me, being in my 30s became all nearly having a family," says Mary Lindewirth of Gillette, New Bailiwick of jersey. "I had a great job, my married man and I were fixing up a business firm that nosotros had bought, and we took wonderful vacations -- but I knew that if we didn't have kids we'd look back anytime and wonder what we had actually achieved."
The catch: While you were gaining life feel, your eggs continued to mature too -- and now they're showing their age. The average woman is built-in with half a million available eggs, but those most sensitive to ripening are released showtime, leaving you with the slower specimens equally you become older. And so even if you conceived at the go-go final decade, don't expect the aforementioned speedy results now. Yous'll probably exist trying for another three to 6 months, says Dr. Berry, even if you're in swell shape and have no medical issues that bear on fertility (such as endometriosis or uterine fibroids).
Waning fertility is most noticeable after the mid 30s, as Lindewirth tin attest. "I was 35 when I conceived my first son, and it didn't have that long -- but four months," she says. "I wanted to take another infant as presently every bit possible afterward, simply it didn't happen. I gave myself until 40 to conceive, and I just made it at historic period 39."
Once you go pregnant, still, you'll likely find that if you lot're fit and healthy, you may enjoy the energy usually associated with a younger woman. "Your physical well-beingness during pregnancy depends more than on who you are than how quondam you lot are," says Dr. Berry. Be aware, though, that this is the decade when chronic conditions such as diabetes or high blood pressure level, which complicate pregnancy, get-go go evident, says Dr. Swamy. This is especially true if you've packed on pounds with the passing years, since obesity increases the hazard of many medical bug.
Also, even if you're in decent shape, starting at historic period 35, you lot have an increasing risk for pregnancy-specific conditions including gestational diabetes. In fact, age 35 marks the official start for "high risk" pregnancy. Why the scary-sounding cutoff? Because at 35, the odds of your having a baby with a chromosomal problem such as Down syndrome (in which a baby is born with an extra chromosome) are nearly equal to the take a chance of miscarriage from amniocentesis, a diagnostic test for chromosomal defects that examines amniotic fluid. (The fluid is removed through a needle inserted in the female parent's abdomen.) "All the same, that risk [most one in 295] is actually notwithstanding quite small -- it'south just that it's higher compared with the risk of a 25-twelvemonth-old," says Dr. van de Ven.
In addition, the take a chance of sure conditions, such as placenta previa, in which the placenta grows about the cervix and causes bleeding, increases with the number of previous pregnancies or cesarean sections, which is why it'southward nigh common amidst older women, notes Dr. Berry.
Kathleen Van Gorden Morse of Petty Compton, Rhode Island, mulled over all her options when she became pregnant at 35. "Although I had friends my age who went directly to amnio, I wanted to start with a safer selection, then I chose a type of ultrasound that looks at the baby'southward neck," says Van Gorden Morse. Known as nuchal translucency, this loftier-resolution ultrasound measures the peel fold at the back of the fetus' neck. "If it's larger than normal, it indicates a potential chromosomal defect," says Michelle Sang, MD, an ob-gyn in Portland, Oregon.
- A Preconception Checklist
In Your 40s: Older, Aye, but Also Much Wiser
There's no getting effectually it: From a medical standpoint, this is the toughest decade for pregnancy. Past at present, you've run through your highest-quality eggs, making conception slower than ever. "You're left with those eggs that accept not only taken the longest to respond to the body'south cues for release, but they also don't role well during fertilization," says Dr. Berry. This further raises the risk of chromosomal abnormalities and miscarriage. Meanwhile, your menstrual cycle may grow increasingly irregular well before menopause, which as well compromises fertility. (And otherwise health-conscious women in this historic period group may exist tedious to seek out prenatal intendance -- they ofttimes assume the skipped flow that signals pregnancy is the commencement sign of menopause. "When my medico gave me the news, he said, 'You lot're going through a change, only not the change you think,'" recalls Bennett.)
Interestingly, while it'due south now hardest to get pregnant, this is also when yous're most likely to comport multiples -- itself a high-risk pregnancy -- even without medical intervention. "It may be that shifting hormone levels during menopause stimulate the release of more than one egg at ovulation -- similar a natural fertility drug," says Dr. Berry.
Standard claret work (the alpha-fetoprotein or AFP, also known as triple or quad screening) that estimates the risk of chromosomal defects such as Down's syndrome is normally considered a waste of fourth dimension and money, says Dr. Swamy. Screening will invariably reveal risk, which now accelerates more rapidly, from well-nigh ane in 86 at age forty to 1 in 21 at age 45. Women at twoscore-plus who opt for testing commonly go straight to the definitive tests -- amnio or chorionic villus sampling (CVS), which involves removing a bit of tissue from the placenta and carries about a one percent gamble of miscarriage. (CVS is as well available for younger women, merely many make up one's mind against it considering, for them, the procedure'south miscarriage risk notwithstanding outweighs the Down'south risk.)
Pregnancy may exacerbate chronic weather as well equally early signs of aging, such as strong, sore joints; varicose veins may also go worse. "Information technology'south all magnified with pregnancy," says Dr. Sang. A slower metabolism may have profound furnishings, likewise: "I ate the same but gained twice every bit much weight with my son as I had with my earlier pregnancies, and the greater load sapped a lot more of my energy," says Bennett. Despite this, she headed up a major arts festival until the day she went into labor.
Doctors may be quick to tick off the concrete downsides of later pregnancy, only a list of other pluses balances the scales. Y'all take greater financial stability, for starters, which may enable you to focus more on maternity. Life feel may have made you more patient and flexible. "First-fourth dimension motherhood can seriously rattle long-established routines, but a adult female in her 40s knows more about life'south ups and downs and tin can amend have shake-ups in stride," says Sanford.
And you lot've likely proved yourself professionally -- you lot may now exist more than content to stay home, or more confident about melding maternity and a career. "You're more savvy, and not as afraid to step upwardly to the plate and negotiate your terms for employment," says Ford-Martin. "Older mothers volition ask for family-friendly workplace arrangements similar telecommuting, flextime, and chore sharing."
That self-confidence may besides carry itself into the doctor's role, where you're more inclined to speak upwardly nearly your preferences regarding labor and commitment. "Women who are a bit older tend to be more active in their pregnancy and overall healthcare," says Dr. Swamy. "They may ask their ob-gyn more questions about things we consider to be standard practice, such equally prenatal labs, diabetes testing, and ultrasounds."
Finally, says Bennett, she's learned coping strategies over the years that have served her well in her second round as a mom of a newborn -- including an afternoon teatime and taking one mean solar day a week when she leaves the infant with other family members. "One mean solar day I saw 3 movies in a row," she says. "Now I know that it's important to indulge myself, and I call up information technology makes me a better mother."
Rachelle Vander Schaaf is a author in Macungie, Pennsylvania, and a mother of two.
Originally published in American Baby magazine, February 2004.
All content here, including advice from doctors and other wellness professionals, should be considered opinion just. Always seek the direct communication of your own dr. in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.
Source: https://www.parents.com/getting-pregnant/age/timing/conceiving-in-your-20s-30s-40s/
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