Black Priest Lmao Gif Amek Him Walk Again
This commodity is just a response to "the Liverpool jokes" article that was put up. Hither are 10 of my favourite Manchester United jokes, especially for all my Mancunian comrades.
x) Manchester United accept apparently fix a call centre for fans who are troubled past their current form.
The number is 0800 ten 10 x.
Calls charged at superlative rate for overseas users.
In one case again the number is
0800 won goose egg won nothing won null.
9) Q: Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Manchester United Players on them...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
8) Q: What do Manchester United Fans and sperm have in common?
A: Ane in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a man being.
7) Q: What have Man Utd and a three-pin plug got in common?
A: They're both of bugger-all employ in Europe.
vi) A van commuter used to amuse himself past running over every Manchester United fan he would see strutting down the side of the road, dressed in their ubiquitous crimson colours. He would swerve to hit them and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.
One day, every bit the driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He idea he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the Priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to say mass at St. Joseph's church building, most ii miles downward the road," replied the priest.
"No problem Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the van continued down the road. All of a sudden the commuter saw a Manchester United fan walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But, just in time, he remembered the encarmine priest, so at the final minute he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the human.
Nevertheless even though he was certain he missed the glory-hunting shite, he even so heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the racket came from, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said
"I'chiliad sad Father, I almost hit that Manchester United fan,"
"That'south okay," replied the priest. "I got the f***er with the door!"
5) Q: What's the divergence between a Human-U fan and a vibrator?
A: A Human U fan is a real dick.
4) Q: What has Old Trafford on a Sabbatum afternoon at 4:45 pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.
3) Q: What do Manchester fans use equally nascency control?
A: Their personalities.
two) A Homo Utd fan dies on match mean solar day and goes to heaven in his Man Utd shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter in a Arsenal scarf.
"Hello mate," says St. Peter, "I'm sad, no Man Utd fans in sky."
"What?" Exclaims the human, astonished.
"Yous heard, no Homo Utd fans."
"But, merely, simply, I've been a practiced man," replies the Man Utd supporter.
"Oh really," says St. Peter. "What have you washed, then?"
"Well," said the guy, "Three weeks before I died, I gave ten pounds to the starving children in Africa."
"Oh," says St. Peter. "Annihilation else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I too gave ten pounds to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave ten pounds to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay," said St. Peter, "You lot wait here a infinitesimal while I have a word with the governor."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the gars in the center and says, "I've had a discussion with God and he agrees with me. Here's your thirty quid dorsum, now screw off."
one) Top tip for Manchester United fans: don't waste matter coin on expensive new kits every flavour. But strap a large inflatable penis to your forehead, and everyone will immediately know which team yous back up.
I hope you lot enjoyed them equally much as I did.
Source: https://bleacherreport.com/articles/62944-10-hilarious-jokes-about-manchester-united
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